


Visiting Hours

by Nomelah



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Complete, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I tried to make a fluff fic and then this happened, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:02:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7820674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nomelah/pseuds/Nomelah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fareeha might've saved your life, but she also might've ended it. Now paralyzed from the hips down, you struggle with the realization of having to leave Overwatch.</p><p>Reader is gender neutral in the first chapter, but I kinda lost gender neutrality in the second chapter, so it's more of a F/M. Sorry guys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 3 AM

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! This is my first Overwatch fic, and first ao3 fic. I've been working on DeviantArt for a while and desperately needed a change, so here I am! Enjoy my angsty writing! 
> 
> The end is a bit weak, but you know, it's the first chapter and it'll be okay.

Dr. Ziegler had said the only thing that saved you was Fareeha's concussive blast. She said it with enough confidence and optimism, you almost believed her. But there was a little part of that wished you hadn't been saved. Apparently, if the knockback from the blast had been a quarter of a second later, or in a different position, you would've died in the explosion. Instead, you were left with a "completed injury to the thoracic region of your spinal cord". Meaning, your lower spine had snapped, completely severing your spinal cord and paralyzing your body from the hips down.

You couldn't really remember it, and Dr. Ziegler attributed that to shock in response to a major trauma. Apparently there had been hearing loss, but this was an easy fix for her. She gave you a brief overview of the incident, and then she took a step away as your teammates were allowed visits. It was all a blur, a muffled flurry of faces and words.

Several teammates didn't come, but in your exhaustion and shock, you failed to notice this. You'd sort out the memories later. Dr. Ziegler eventually stopped allowing visitors, and sat with you in the room. You felt so numb. You hadn't cried yet, and you knew it was only a matter of time before it all spilled out. You wanted to be alone when that happened.

"I'd rather be dead than leave Overwatch." Your voice came to you suddenly, and the words left your mouth without warning. Dr. Ziegler's head whipped up, her blue eyes wide.

"Nobody said anything about-"

"Morrison won't allow me to stay." You cut her off before she could continue. Dr. Ziegler closed her mouth, keeping eye contact. She sighed, looking away.

"I know." Her voice was quiet, and you felt a lump form in your throat at her words. You weren't sure what you were expecting, some small part of you still had hope you could stay. You spun your head around to glare out the window in your small room, biting your lip to keep from sobbing.

"Leave me alone." You managed to get out, blinking tears from your eyes. You watched from your peripheral vision as she nodded hesitantly, and then again with more force. She stood, making her way to the door by the head of your bed. Before leaving, she squeezed your shoulder with her hand.

"I wish I could help you more." The door slid open, and she left you alone in the dimly lit room.

After the door slid shut, you'd thrown the blanket off of your lower body, nearly losing your balance and tumbling off of the bed. You had a strong upper body though, and you'd caught yourself and straightened up. You were wearing a blue hospital gown, and for the first time you were able to get a good look at your body. Your arms had been burnt from the blast, but Dr. Ziegler had managed to heal those with ease, all that was left was some lumpy pink scar tissue. Your gaze fell on your legs. You'd tried this so many times earlier, but you still held a hope that you could somehow miraculously move them if you just kept trying. Just moving a toe would satisfy you. Maybe this next attempt. You tried moving your big toe. Nothing. Again. Nothing. A sob wracked your body, and you let loose the scream you'd held inside since your awakening. You knew Dr. Ziegler had done all she could, but it wasn't enough.

Sleep didn't come to you. You weren't surprised. You hadn't expected it to. Another thing you hadn't expected, was for your door to slide open at 03:12 AM. The door quickly slid shut again, and without thinking you feigned sleep.

"Hey. You awake?" McCree's thick southern drawl broke the silence. The quick sound of a lighter followed suit, and the scent of his cigar filled the little room, a strangely comforting scent. A robotic hand shook your arm.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm awake." You mumbled.

"Mighty fine. I snuck in to see you cause Miss Angela wouldn't let me in earlier. Said I'd missed visitin hours." There was an oomph as he sat down on the end of your bed. In the dim light, you could just make out his form as he crossed his legs and slouched over, puffing on his cigar.

"So you come visit at three in the morning."

"Angela typically stays up til the middle of the night doin her work." He replied, his voice seeming pretty confident in his reasoning.

"On a first name basis, and you know her sleep schedule. You sound pretty smug."

"It ain't like that."

"I was teasing." You leaned forward, pushing yourself with one arm until you could balance comfortably. You snatched his cigar from his lips with your free hand. "Ziegler hates your cigars." You murmured before taking a quick puff of it and handing it back. You savored the sensation before exhaling the smoke slowly. McCree took the cigar back, and even in the low lighting, you could swear he was glaring at you.

"Aren't you 'sposed to be all paralyzed?" He muttered, sticking the cigar between his lips.

"From the hips down, yeah." The room was quiet. McCree didn't say anything for a moment, seemingly trying to come up with something to say. He didn't find anything. You let yourself fall backwards into the pillows. "Can't feel a damn thing." You felt your chest tighten up again, that lump forming in your throat.

"God!" You half-laughed, half-sobbed. "This is shitty!" You took a deep breath in, attempting to get a handle on your emotions.

"I ain't disagreeing with you there." McCree spoke up, flopping backwards on your bed.

"Hey Jesse?" You whispered, holding back another sob.

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold me? I feel so alone right now. I just need to be held. Like you used to." Your voice was a strangled whisper, breaking at the end. He didn't reply, only getting up, discarding his cigar, and walking around the side of the bed to cradle you in his arms. He climbed back onto the bed, still holding you tight to his chest. "Thank you."

"Any time." He murmured, his breath hot against your forehead. The room was quiet, save for his steady heart beat.

"What's happened to me? I don't remember any of it, Ziegler described a bit of it, but no details." You paused. Jesse's heart rate went up. "You were there right? You saw it all. She said you were the first person there." There was a pause before he spoke.

"Yeah I was there. Can't remember no details. Just you, tryna get more civilians outta this collapsin building. You were runnin back on in, some explosives went off, Fareeha sent a concussive blast few feet away from you, you're saved from the explosion by it, but it done knocks you sideways into a pillar. Then a snap, your back is at a bad angle, Fareeha is screamin somethin, i just remember thinkin: she's gone." He takes a shaky breath. A hot tear drops onto your face, and you realize he's crying. His body shakes, and suddenly you're crying too.

"God, Jesse." You make out. "I'm being kicked off. Morrison won't let me stay." He tenses, his arms pulling you into his body. "I wish I'd died out there. I wanted to die a hero. I was denied that right. I wish I was dead." Your grip tightens on his body, your nails digging into his skin. You feel him shake his head.

"Shut the fuck up, you ain't allowed to talk like that."

"Then I won't. But I'll still feel it."

"I said shut up."

"Then make me. You can't. I wish I was dead Jesse McCree."

He dumps you unceremoniously off of his lap, and in shock you release him from your grip. You're on your back now, he's on his hands and knees, straddling your limp body. You're left staring wide eyed up at him.

"Jesse..." You whisper. He steals the rest of your words when his lips connect with yours in a bruising kiss. His chapped lips taste like his cigar and whiskey. They're pressed hard into yours, and yet you find yourself enjoying it. His scruffy facial hair tickled your face. The entire kiss was so distinctly Jesse. And as soon as it had started, he was pulling away, his eyes directed somewhere else. He almost seemed ashamed.

"I said shut up." He climbed off of you, falling back into the pillows. "You ain't allowed to talk about that shit. You ain't gonna leave me again. Understood? You can't do that to me."

"Jesse, there's no way around it, Morrison isn't gonna allow me to stay with Overwatch. I'm no use to anyone in this state. I wish it wasn't true." You bit your lip, blinking tears out of your eyes.

"God __________, just shut up, woulda? Can't you see I'm tryin? I'm tryin so hard to not break down. I don't want you to see me like that." He's holding you now, his grip like steel around your body. Jesse is shaking again.

"Cause my state is what I want you to see me in." You laugh airily, but you're crying too. You're clenching onto his body like it's your lifeline, and in a way it is. "What am I going to do? Even if I'm not kicked off, I'm going to be stuck on base. And if I am kicked off, then what do I do? I don't have any family or friends to go to outside of Overwatch. Overwatch is my home, I struggled for those six years when it was disbanded, but at least I could continue to help people! I can't do anything now!"

"Hey, hey, it's gonna be alright, we're gonna be okay." He stroked your hair, trying to soothe you, but you could tell he was breaking up about this.

Jesse held you like that until you fell into a dreamless sleep. When you awoke, he was gone, and Dr. Ziegler stood by your bed checking your vitals. Light streamed in through your window, casting a bright square of light onto your bed. She spun around, her short heels clicking on the floor.

"How are you this morning? Slept well I hope?" She smiled pleasantly while fixing her ponytail. Your gaze scanned across the room. There was almost no trace that Jesse had visited. Your eyes rested upon his cigar across the room on a shelf.

"Well enough." You mumbled.

"Good to hear." She squeezed your shoulder. A sad smile was on her face. She took a seat in the chair across from your bed. "I talked to Jack about your condition." She stated quietly, letting her head drop into her hands.

"Lay it all out."

"You're going to have to leave Overwatch."


	2. Fareeha

You didn't have a response for that. Dr. Ziegler had tried to pull a reply from you, anything. Anything would have been better than this blank stare. Eventually she left you alone. Jesse had been deployed to handle a situation in Turkey this morning, he wouldn't be visiting for a couple days. 

The door slid open, and you didn't bother to turn your head.

"I'm sorry Dr. Ziegler, but I need some space right now." You mumbled, your eyes resting on your unresponsive legs. 

"I heard you're leaving Overwatch. I'm sorry." The voice that had spoken belonged to Fareeha Amari, and you found yourself whipping your head around to shoot her a look. "Is it alright if I sit with you for a little while?" 

"Knock yourself out." You gestured to the chair across from your bed. Fareeha gave a quick nod back before crossing the room to sit. She wore casual clothes today, a simple white blouse and slacks. It was a strange sight. You didn't see her much around base, typically only in the field.

Before sitting down, her gaze rested on the cigar on the shelf. The faintest of a smile crossed her face. 

"Angela told me that she was trying to keep the cowboy out for a while. Something about how your volatile temperaments could clash for the worse." She sat, propping her chin up on her hand. You blushed. "McCree cares for you."

"I know." Your memory was sent back to last night and your urgent kiss shared with him. Fareeha's brown eyes shut, a relaxed expression on her face. You watched her for a few seconds before opening your mouth to speak. "Why did you save me?" Your voice was hushed, void of accusing tones or anger. Her eyes opened slowly, making cold eye contact with you.

"I have lost enough soldiers- and friends- to last a lifetime. I wasn't going to lose you, I thought fast. Saving your life was the only thought I had in mind. I did what I had to do." A bronze hand ran through her short ebony locks, and she pulled it back into a short messy ponytail. You didn't break the eye contact, waiting to see what her next words would be. She didn't speak.

"You saved me. And yet, my life ended in that explosion." Your gaze flitted to the window, watching the birds on the tree outside. You were quiet for a moment before continuing. "Overwatch is my life, and now I'm leaving. My life is over." 

The woman across from you shook her head. 

"I came to talk to you about that. Angela didn't want me to speak with you about my suggestion. She didn't want you to build a false hope. But in my eyes, it's still hope, and if there's any way you could stay with Overwatch, you need to try your hardest to do so." Her gaze bore into your own with a viscous intensity. She stood and came to the end of your bed, handing you a small package the size of a watch box. You gave her a look as you opened it, she still stood at the end of your bed. 

Inside of the box was a small metal square. You gingerly picked it up, turning it over in your hands. Delicate clear strands of fibers dangled from the back of the square, you looked up at her in puzzlement. 

"What is this?" 

"A spinal implant. When I was still commanding the guard in Egypt, one of my soldiers was in an accident similar to yours. He was offered a trial implant exactly like this one. After the operation, his spinal cord had been reconnected indirectly with the fibers." She paused, allowing you to soak in the information. You kept your reaction guarded, there had to be a catch. Otherwise, Ziegler would've performed the operation in a heartbeat. 

"So why isn't it utilized more?" 

"Rejection. His body soon attacked the implant and sadly, he passed." 

Your mouth was dry. You drew your tongue over your chapped lips, trying to process this information. 

"I'm sorry." You mumbled, tracing the tiny grooves in the implant with a fingertip. Fareeha shook her head.

"Don't be. He died serving his country, it was as he wished, and for that I am grateful." You nodded shakily. 

"I want to do it." Your eyes slid up to meet hers, and an expression you couldn't read was on her face. "If I die during the operation, it doesn't matter. I'm no use to anyone dead, but I'm also no use to anyone while I'm in this state." You paused. "I'm willing to take this risk. It's my choice." 

She nodded briskly, and you handed her the implant. 

"I will talk to Angela about it again, try and get her to come around." She turned, about to leave the room. However, before she left, her hand clenched your shoulder, and her eyes bore into yours. You held your breath, expecting her to say something, but nothing left her lips. She gave you a tiny nod, releasing your shoulder and leaving you. The door slid shut.

"Thanks." You whispered.

Mercy had agreed to perform the operation. Thanks to the advanced healing technology, your recovery should be quick, however you'd still need to undergo physical therapy. That was all given you didn't reject the implant. 

.....

The beeping of a monitor was the first thing you recognized upon awakening. The second thing was a killer pain in your lower back. Your eyes blinked open blearily, finding Dr. Ziegler sitting in the chair Fareeha had been in. Your hand was being squeezed. Your gaze went to the person sitting in a chair next to you

Jesse McCree. Your chapped lips pulled up into a smile. He was asleep, his head and upper body resting on the bed. You squeezed his hand, and he jolted awake, sitting upright in his chair, an expression of shock on his tired face. 

"Damn." He grinned, the bags under his eyes made prominent. 

"Oh, she finally awakens!" Dr. Ziegler's voice made its way to your ears, followed by Fareeha's pleased voice. 

"So can I walk?" You asked, dragging your stare from Jesse to the doctor. "I'm not dead yet, and I don't think I've rejected the implant yet, so can I?"

Dr. Ziegler looked nervously to Jesse, and then to you. 

"Technically, yes. However, there's still physical therapy and the threat of rejection, so we can't be too certain yet." Jesse squeezed your hand. You bit your lip, nodding your head. 

"Can I have some time with Jesse?" You asked tentatively, your eyes shifting back to the cowboy. 

"Of course. I'll be back later." Dr. Ziegler stood and left the room, Fareeha following. The Egyptian woman smiled softly at you.

"Thank you." She murmured before closing the door behind her. You nodded.

"You gonna try an' move a toe?" Jesse asked, grinning. His eyes were nervous. 

"I'm too scared to try. What if it didn't work?" 

"Then I'll still love you. It's okay." His hand gripped yours, and his tone was soft. You felt tears well up in your eyes. You clenched them shut, shaking your head and biting your lip. A lump in your throat choked you and threatened to make you cry. Jesse's hands were placed on either side of your face. They were calloused, but gentle, and scented of his cigars. Your eyes were forced to meet his, and tears started flowing freely. His face was close to yours, his lips mere inches away. "It's gonna be just fine darlin'. I'm here."

Your crying stopped, and he released you from his delicate hold. Biting your lip, you looked down. Your hands grasped the edge of the blanket, starting to pull it towards you so you could see your feet. You threw the blanket off of the bed, ignoring the cold air on your legs, telling yourself it was your imagination.

You stared down at your feet. Any movement at all would make you happy. A fragment of an inch. Biting your lip, you clenched your eyes shut. You tried to move your toe. 

Jesse started laughing, and your eyes flew open as you looked down. You did it. Tears started flowing again, and suddenly you were in his arms as he twirled you around in the air. 

"Oh my god, oh my god Jesse!" You laughed, hiccuping through the tears. "I did it! I did it!" 

Jesse stopped twirling you, and didn't reply, he drew you close into a tight hug, and you could feel him crying.

"That you did." He sat back down on the chair, still holding you. Your legs straddled his and you nestled your face into his neck. His bionic hand ran through your hair, while the other traced circles down your exposed spine, untying the knots in your hospital gown. His fingertips stopped right above where the implant was, and then he delicately traced the perimeter of the implant. 

"Thank you Fareeha." He murmured into your ear. You smiled.

"I love you Jesse," you whispered into his neck.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh. I refuse to write any more of this. Sorry kiddos. I'm not feeling this. The first chapter was alright, but the second chapter felt a bit off and disjointed. Ugh I hate writing.
> 
> Not really. I love writing. It just stresses me out sometimes. Hope you guys enjoyed!


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